You don’t have to look very hard to find references in the popular culture of either nation to find this linguistic clash has inspired both well-meaning and somewhat cruel humor in written, audio, and video formats. British comedians can always count on abusing American speech for a cheap laugh. The same is true for American comics, I suppose. Although it always sounds less derisive and more warmhearted to me when Americans humorists are making fun of British English. I can’t say for sure whether the reverse is true.
As a child I was aware that English was spoken with different accents in different parts of the United States. I moved from west Texas to Ohio at the age of seven and was painfully goaded into quickly changing the way I spoke. I adopted the local, and so-called ‘normal’, accent with a speed that left skid marks on my palate. However, the first inkling I had that there was a difference between British and American English was when I received the grade for my first spelling test in the fourth grade.
The summer before, just about a week before my ninth birthday, I was introduced to my first English author, Charlotte Brontë. The book, of course, was Jane Eyre. This was soon followed by an introduction to Jane Austen in the form of Pride and Prejudice. My entire summer was subsequently filled with works by these two authors. It will not surprise most of those who read this to hear that this influenced my spelling to a significant degree. I had actually immersed myself in the world of early nineteenth century England, and came away with the habit of spelling things like color and humor as 'colour' and 'humour', etc.
I was confused and disappointed when I got back my spelling test. I had failed. And while my pride balked in reaction to this new sensation (i.e. failure), I was unable to deny that the page was blood red with all of the words marked incorrect. Later that day, the teacher, Mrs. Lucas (a sweet woman who was to teach me English and Social Studies for the next three years), took me aside and asked me about what I had been reading lately. While she admitted that she was pleased to see me reaching further afield than Charlotte’s Web and the latest Judy Blume book, she very kindly made it clear to me that while I lived in the United States, and was attending school in the United States, I was expected to adjust my spelling accordingly.
This, as indicated above, was my introduction to the ‘variability’ of the English language outside of America. Over the next several years I was exposed in written and aural form to English as it is spoken across the globe. Recent exploration on the internet informs me that an estimated 375 million people in the world speak English as a first language [1]. Linguistics professor David Crystal calculates that there are now three non-native speakers of English (who speak it as a second or third language) for every native speaker [2]. Furthermore, there are about 55 sovereign countries and another 26 non-sovereign entities in which English is 'the' or 'an' official language [3]. (The United States is not on either of these lists as it stubbornly refuses to adopt an official language.) All that being said, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the English(es) spoken in Hong Kong, Liverpool, Kingston, and Chicago will all sound quite different from one another. The fact of the matter is, if you take into account all of the different dialects and pidgin versions of English that are spoken around the world, American and British English sound a lot more similar than you might otherwise have thought.
So, why all the fuss? Why all the friction? It’s been 233 years since we gave England the proverbial 'finger', and, while there have been the occasional disagreements or minor tiffs since then, we haven’t actually been at war with one another since 1812, right? In fact, the US and the UK have been allies for so long now it seems incomprehensible at this point to view them as adversaries. Can you actually imagine either nation declaring war on the other in this day and age?
I suppose you could look at it like an old family argument that keeps rearing its ugly head at reunions. The US was the first of the British colonies to leave home and she did it with a great deal of drama and trash-talking. Canada and Australia lived in their parents’ basement for a few years after college, but eventually they each found a place of their own (within a ten minute drive to Mom and Dad’s place). And India - well India was the youngest child and benefitted from all of its older siblings wearing the parents down to the point where they just accepted the fact that they would have to live with empty nest syndrome.
I guess that leaves the US in the role of an otherwise beloved child who frequently reminds its parent that children will and do break your heart. Pride in her intermittent accomplishments is thoroughly mixed with despair over her unladylike behavior and inability to play well with others. You can almost hear the speech, “Your brother and sister are doing so well. When are you going to settle down with someone special and really commit to your career like they have?” - Or something like that.
So perhaps the occasional caustic remark about American speech or behavior which oozes out of the lips of English comedians can be attributed to something other than an active and widespread dislike of Americans throughout British society. At least I hope so. With the popularity of the United States around the world at its lowest point in history following eight years of George W. Bush & Co., it would be sad to think that even family members don’t like us anymore. If that's the case, we can add that to the long list of things for which Dick Cheney should be made to pay. Not that he would ever pay such a debt, but it's important to make a note of it for bookkeeping purposes.
[1] Curtis, Andy. Color, Race, And English Language Teaching: Shades of Meaning. 2006, page 192.
[2] Crystal, David (2003), English as a Global Language (2nd ed.), Cambridge University Press, p. 69, ISBN 9780521530323, http://books.google.com/books?id=d6jPAKxTHRYC, cited in Power, Carla (7 March 2005), "Not the Queen's English", Newsweek, http://www.newsweek.com/id/49022.
[3] http://tinyurl.com/37z65d
Photo by Richard Cawood
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